成长过程

最近很多感触。And it's all because of Human Development. Was required to interview my parents and was required to write a journal after that. In my interview with my parents, i found out some things which 让我有很多感触。I don't know how to describe how i feel. I don't think it is sadness. In my writing of the journal, i actually teared-up. I realized how much my parents are sacrificing for me and i do not want them to go through that sacrifice. I know that going overseas to study will burn a big hole in their pockets and i feel bad at times, for having to spend their hard earned money. I have a plan. But i need a better plan. Sighs. I will make this work.

Watched the second half of Tokyo Towers in class today.And i actually teared-up and cried in class. I know a few others did too. The ending part of the movie when the mother got sick and was dying was too real. It really is very hard to see your love ones suffer. Especially when you cannot do anything for them. That feeling of helplessness is not hard to imagine. When the movie ended and Ms T asked us what we thought about it, the whole class was silent. Literally pindrop silence. You can practically feel the tension in the air. There was an overwhelming feeling of sadness lingering. When Ms T pinpointed at me to answer her, i was at a loss for words as well. It felt as if if i open my mouth to speak, the emotions would all come pouring out.

The movie and the interview and the journals made me think a lot about my parents, and how they have aged. Suddenly, i do not want to spend so much time in the States anymore. I want to be by their side. I want to be home.

One part in the movie left a strong impression on me. When the mother was in the hospital, she asked her son to bring the framed up degree of his. And she wiped it and looked at it with pride. It reminded me of what my parents told me was their biggest concern at this stage of their life: their children's education.

Our parents have sacrificed a lot for us. The least we could do is to think of them in everything that we do. The most basic one would be to not let them worry. I try my best to do that, to not let them worry. That's why when possible, i want them to know that i am safe and sound before they go to bed each night. Our parents love us, and will never stop worrying about us. We as children, should love them in our own way too.

I was disappointed today. With the marks i got for philosophy assignment and macroeconomics assignment. To say that i don't care because i already have a place in a uni would be a lie. I actually do care, a little. But i am not going to dwell on it as well. It doesn't make a big difference now anyway. Just that my final transcript will be a little less that what i wanted. Oh well, who cares? No one would 5 months from now! =)

Oh, and my sleep pattern is all screwed up. Never slept at all last night. Went for straight 8 hours of lessons today. Then i slept from 5 to 7pm. Dinner. Slept from 8 to 10pm. Did Human Development assignment. And here i am now blogging because i am not in the least bit sleepy at all.